African presidents were said to avoid France like a powerhouse on a busy Lagos

There was a  time when, on the  busy streets of Abuja, African presidents were  said to avoid France like a  powerhouse on a busy Lagos  highway. France, with its  imposing baggage and endless negotiations, had been  welcoming leaders for years. But  recently, African presidents  have had  enough of France's "special offers," which always seemed to include a hidden tax or a sneaky  clause. One by one, the presidents began  to ignore France. The Ghanaian president claimed  that his phone  had fallen into a bowl of fufu and stopped working. The South African president said he was  "too busy  making braaa." The Kenyan president simply disappeared into the savannah, claiming he had  "urgent business to attend to with the lions."
Meanwhile, in Nigeria, President Oga Bigman sat in his office,  eating suya. His aides nervously  briefed him  on the situation.  "Sir, other African presidents are avoiding  France." Should we  do the same?"
Oga Bigman  stopped, adjusted his agbada, and said,  "Why introduce myself? I'm Nigerian! If France is  leading a  match, we'll win  it! Besides, who else  is going to explain  to Macron the meaning of  "japa"?"
With that, he picked up the phone and called France.  "Good morning! This is President Bigman. I  heard you are looking for African presidents.  Don't worry,  I'm coming with my  whole team. We'll even bring jollof rice for the negotiations!"
The other presidents were stunned. "What  do you think Bigman?!" they  whispered. But Bigman had a plan.  As others ran, he saw an opportunity to renegotiate  the deal—and maybe sell some Nigerian spices  in the process. After all, if anyone could  do it better than a French diplomat, it was a Nigerian president armed with wit, charm, and an endless supply of  proverbs. And so, while the rest of Africa watched from afar, Oga Bigman  made France his playground. He returned home with new  offers, a viral dance video with Macron, and a trending hashtag:  #BigmanNoDeyRun. #Nigeria #FranceVisa #China  #Russia #USA #Politics

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