Deen W: Character Is an Empty Shell

Deen W: Character Is an Empty Shell

Not every person who identifies as religious is necessarily a suitable partner, and here's why:

The Prophet ﷺ said,

"If there comes to you one whose religion and character you are pleased with, then marry them. If you do not, there will be fitnah in the land and widespread corruption."
(Tirmidhi 1084)

Both religion and character are important, and they are not the same. A person can perform Hajj and still mistreat their spouse. They may pray five times a day and yet speak harshly. They might recite the Qur'an regularly and still be misguided. Religious acts alone do not guarantee kindness.

Being "on deen" does not automatically qualify someone as a good partner. Communication is a skill that requires effort; it is not inherently present in everyone. Outward religious observance can be practiced by many, but Allah has cautioned us in the Qur'an to consider intentions, as someone may appear to be a believer without genuinely embodying that faith.

Character is significant. Do not allow your judgment to be clouded simply because someone prays or dresses modestly. Following the five pillars is the minimum expectation; it does not guarantee suitability.

Evaluate their character. Observe how they act and whether they genuinely practice Islamic teachings rather than merely professing them.

Do not be misled by outward appearances. Seek Allah's guidance and pray for wisdom, and, In shā Allah, you will find a partner who satisfies you in both faith and character, whether as a husband or wife.