There was a time when, on the busy streets of Abuja, African presidents were said to avoid France like a powerhouse on a busy Lagos highway. France, with its imposing baggage and endless negotiations, had been welcoming leaders for years. But recently, African presidents have had enough of France's "special offers," which always seemed to include a hidden tax or a sneaky clause. One by one, the presidents began to ignore France. The Ghanaian president claimed that his phone had fallen into a bowl of fufu and stopped working. The South African president said he was "too busy making braaa." The Kenyan president simply disappeared into the savannah, claiming he had "urgent business to attend to with the lions."
Meanwhile, in Nigeria, President Oga Bigman sat in his office, eating suya. His aides nervously briefed him on the situation. "Sir, other African presidents are avoiding France." Should we do the same?"
Oga Bigman stopped, adjusted his agbada, and said, "Why introduce myself? I'm Nigerian! If France is leading a match, we'll win it! Besides, who else is going to explain to Macron the meaning of "japa"?"
With that, he picked up the phone and called France. "Good morning! This is President Bigman. I heard you are looking for African presidents. Don't worry, I'm coming with my whole team. We'll even bring jollof rice for the negotiations!"
The other presidents were stunned. "What do you think Bigman?!" they whispered. But Bigman had a plan. As others ran, he saw an opportunity to renegotiate the deal—and maybe sell some Nigerian spices in the process. After all, if anyone could do it better than a French diplomat, it was a Nigerian president armed with wit, charm, and an endless supply of proverbs. And so, while the rest of Africa watched from afar, Oga Bigman made France his playground. He returned home with new offers, a viral dance video with Macron, and a trending hashtag: #BigmanNoDeyRun. #Nigeria #FranceVisa #China #Russia #USA #Politics
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